There isn't always a positive outcome

This is a piece of a response to a friend whose husband died of cancer in December. While at a parade, the American Cancer Society was tossing t-shirts and she happened to get one that said "survivor," and it infuriated her. Can't blame her there. The shirt actually served to remind her that her husband did not survive, but she did and now has to go on without him. This did not inspire Pollyanna "the sun will come out tomorrow" feelings, it inspired sorrow and hopelessness. Maybe "that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger," but like any cliche, it also pisses you off.

I did say more than is written below but this is the only part that's relevant to the point I want to make.

My father gets the Stroke Connection magazine and he feels about it's approach the way you felt about the t-shirt. Not everyone survives cancer, and not everyone who has a stroke makes a full recovery and is able to go back to a productive life. While giving hope these organizations should also not be forgetting about the reality, about the people grieving the loved ones lost to cancer, about people grieving the functions lost to stroke.

Stroke Connection tends to focus on stories of people who have made good recoveries, in order to give new survivors hope, I think. In 2004, my father had a hemorrhagic stroke that affected the basal ganglion area of his brain. He did make some recovery, but he still walks very slowly and must use a walker. He never did get much function back in his right hand. He feels very bitter and disappointed. He wrote to Stroke Connection and told them that they should include stories about the other half of the people who had a stroke and did not have a miraculous recovery, who are enduring day to day. And I agree with him. The magazine is basically a good thing and he likes reading it, but he'd like to hear about more people like him who have to deal with being permanently quite handicapped.

I'm not trying to condemn the good works done by the American Cancer Society and the American Heart Association, just imparting a thought.